Alright fellow parents.
Grab your caffeine, sit down, and listen while a spin a yarn for you.
As a mom.
So, picture it, I have finished my workout and have set the littles up with whatever their favorite show at the moment is.
If I have to hear about how gecko can’t think of a rhyme on more time I’m going to commit a crime.
The littles have their show. They have their snacks. They have their water bottles.
This mom sneaks off to her room and starts getting undressed.
I get completely naked only to have Little Miss burst in yelling about how Bug opened the front door and let the dog outside. The very large dog. The very large, intimidating, German Shepherd.
I haphazardly throw some clothes back on and go running out the front door to look for him. Usually when he knows he’s not supposed to be out in the front he will just stand on the front sidewalk; buuuut…NOPE. Not this time.
He was two houses down sniffing around some neighbor’s front yard.
Got the dog back in and then took the fastest shower of my life.
Which coming from the girl who usually showers for all of ten minutes means it was really, really quick.
But knowing that Bug had mastered the front door deadbolt was some good motivation to get it done quickly.
Not crazy enough for you? Don’t worry. I have more yarn.
It’s a new day.
Still just a sweaty, post workout mom looking to shower.
As I am getting all the things set up for me to get in the shower (i.e. snacks, shows, cold beverages) I come out to find Little Miss on top of the kitchen counter.
She gets sent to her room.
Here I am, thinking alright, one kid contained, I got this!
Drying off after my shower and I hear what sounds like glass shattering.
I come up to find Little Bear walking up to hand me two giant shards of glass.
I get out further into the living room and see the orb light my mom had given us for Christmas in pieces on the floor.
So many pieces.
So many bare feet.
I walk in further to find Cuddle Bug trying to wedge himself under the couch. Face first.
I guess we know who threw it.
So, here I am, naked, vacuuming up shards of glass so that nobody gets cut.
If I was granted only three wishes, one of them would be to be able to shower without fearing that the whole world is going to crumble.
Now I try to only shower in the middle of the night.
Hours after the littles have fallen asleep.
And I still panic that they’ll wake up and wreak havoc.
Well, there you have it, it’s been just another
stinky mom Manic Momday!
Do your littles go crazy as soon as they hear the shower turn on?!
Or is it just mine?!